The way I am tuned to my body sometimes is scary even for me. When I found out I was expecting, I knew within two weeks of my pregnancy — and confirmed it a week later. I was disappointed and devastated. Kids were not on my timeline, and if I ever had them, I told myself it would be when I was over the age of 40. But clearly, the universe had other plans for me.
I was mostly unhappy during my pregnancy — and that’s okay to admit out loud. because I was navigating the unknown — and it was stressful, to say the least.
The Expectations of Expecting
I’d be crying, and my partner would ask me what was wrong, and I’d respond with anything from “we still haven’t found a gynae yet” to “I’m feeling so weak and dizzy” to “you’re the reason we’re in this mess.” And strangely enough, he was supportive through it all.
I learnt about the expectations of expecting — what it truly means to have someone beside you as you navigate the uncharted waters you suddenly find yourself in. My partner showed up in ways I hadn’t anticipated, and that taught me something about both of us.
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The pregnancy wasn’t all bad, though. There were quite a few benefits to it — like getting preferential treatment wherever I went, the way strangers would smile at my growing belly, and those rare, quiet moments when I’d feel a flutter and think: oh. There you are.
The Honest Version
This is my story. Unplanned, uncertain, and — in ways I’m still discovering — absolutely mine. I’m writing it down not because I have all the answers, but because I wish someone had been honest with me from the beginning. So here it is: the honest version. The messy, beautiful, real one.
Welcome to The Journey. I’m glad you’re here.
Written with love & sleepy eyes · The Journey · Pregnancy. Motherhood. Parenting. ·2026